Boredom relief

[brooner]

god is a bit useless today:

Me:
why is it so windy today?
God:
Ah. Why do I exist?
Me:
no, why is it windy?
God:
Are you serious? Why do I exist?
Me:
you don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
liar, you are just a computer program
God:
Are all liar me just a computer program?
Me:
see, you are even a flawed computer program
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
ha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

[Nailest]

I sometimes think some of the "people" posting here are just flawed computer programs.

Hands up anyone who thinks they can pass a Turing test.

[helen]

i think im confusing it...

Me:
no, you're never right. you think you are right about everything but you are not
God:
Are you serious? I don't know whether or not I am never.
I am a chatterbot. I don't know whether or not I am right about everything but I am not.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.

[Nailest]

Me: please forgive me
God: Wow you are very polite. I forgive you.

Woo-hoo! Heaven here I come!

[pussyman]

my best score on the helicopter game is 578. I can't be arsed with it any more but it is pretty good.

[DesignatedDriver]

Me:
i dream of being chased by large men with sticks
God:
Tell me more about your dream of being chased by large men with sticks.
Me:
it starts out fun, but takes a nasty twist when they shout abuse about my mother
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
it being the dream
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
you get dreams?
God:
You got that right.
Me:
tell me about them?
God:
There's not much to tell.
Me:
not very imaginitive, heh?
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
imaginitive
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
okay. do you think my dream means anything?
God:
OK with me too. Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
yeah. not much though required being god
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. Me either.

god sucks.

here i was trying to get advise, and he just shuts me out? i though his door way always open?

[PeterG]

The alice robot used to be amazing. The people at somethingawful corrupted it to the point where every reply would be a racial slur or an insult but someone with no sense of humour reset the database.

[DesignatedDriver]

Me:
i am scared of spiders. how do i kill kill kill them all?
God:
Let's talk about your fears. What is your feeling like? Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
i like that. Program you to kill them all. Some sort of superhuman Spider killing monster.
God:
That is interesting. I like the way you talk. Some may sort of superhuman Spider killing monster, but not all.
Me:
How would you kill all the spiders - theres lots?
God:
Thou shalt not kill, is a commandment.
Me:
i am not killing, you just offered to do it
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not killing me just offered to do it.
Me:
i'm surprised to hear that too. but i must not disobey god
God:
I will play it on your soundcard. What would happen if you did?
Me:
god would kill me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
congratulations. i am an agnostic
God:
Thank you very much, you are very considerate. What is agnostic, your job?
Me:
not very smart for god, are you?
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
a poo head?
God:
What is it?
Me:
someone how has poo for a head
God:
Who?
Me:
you
God:
" Who?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes you. poo head
God:
OK. What do you have that is ?
Me:
that is what?
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
my pleasure
God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.

stupid god

[bedders]

http://www.stickcricket.com/game.php

My current favourite game by a mile, best score of 245 on 10 over slog with Australia (Matthew Hayden 138)

[Guest]

You prob seen this b4, keeps the attention for all of 10 mins until RSI sets in
http://www.universal-playback.com/Zones/KnightRider/

[richardm]

hmm, god's getting kinda annoying:

God:
Hey.
Me:
ho
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
me to
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
i'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
i'm not glad we agree
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not glad we agree.
Me:
i am glad to hear that you are glad to hear that i am not glad we agree
God:
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
i'm not sure if delight is the right word to describe it
God:
Could you ever be certain? That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
i am always certain
God:
Really always? I see.
Me:
said the blind man
God:
What did you mean by it? What is that?
Me:
i thought god was all knowing
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
who knows
God:
Only the Shadow knows.
Me:
is the Shadow all knowing?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
surprised?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
worship the devil
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
they do
God:
When?
Me:
all the time, dont you?
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
exeptions to what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
deadly
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
do i still what?
God:
Not that I know of.

ah well, its off to hell for me...

[Guest]

670m for night rider