rubbish edinburgh banter: the fall and fall of tony carter

[samsonite]

apparently he's been sacked. u heard it here first.

oh, and the liquid rooms is going down the pan in the next few years. cab vol is the new place to be. reopens next week with the ex-liquid rooms manager.

so there

[Drew]

actually?

what for?

cab vol. New snatch?

[Nailest]

It wasn't the tsunami gags was it?

[Drew]

the tide is hight but Im hollllding on,

[eddie]

quick quick sack drew!!!

drew you insensitive bar steward

[Nailest]

Wouldn't be the first

[Drew]

hehe,
my names not rodney though

[richardm]

ive been told worse, but i thout it was a bit sick, so its probably better if i dont repeat them

[samsonite]

yip, for tsunami jokes.

cab vol new snatch? i doubt it, but it is possible i spose

[Drew]

thats an outrage, he shouldn't have been sacked!

[brooner]

from the snatch blog:

Friday, January 21, 2005
Dear all,

I would like to publicly apologise if comments I made at the snatch social on January the 20th 2005 caused offence. My intention was not to offend anyone present on that night and my behaviour was ill judged. I would like to make clear that my actions in no way represent the views of the promoters of the Snatch Social or the Liquid Room’s Owners, Management or staff.

Yours Sincerely,

William Andrews
(Tony Carter)

and also stuff on the snatchioke

SNATCHIOKE KARIOKE HOKEY POKEY

Deep in the relms of the Snatch Social there lies a dark dark twisted secret....there lies a back room, a room number 2, a box room, a favella, a shanty room, a hole, call it what you but we have 2 rooms now!!

For the past 3 weeks Snatch's answer to Justin Hawkins (long haired poof), a greasy italian looking studd, aka Calverto, has strutted his stuff and worked his majic to bring you Snatchioki....inspired by the famous Japanese institution called Karioke. Calverto studied this mysterious phenomenom for many years deep in the heart of Jappenogi Pi Pong in Japan and has excelled in the Karioke art. Just like Bruce Lee did in inventing the "Jeet Kune Do" style of fighting, Calverto has invented the "SNATCHIOKE" style of singing. You can fluff Calverto's collar or sing into his mike, but don't dis the Snatchioke!!!! Pictures will be up on this site next week.

Snatchioke can be found by entering the back room at Snatch via the girls toilets (no hokey pokey lads), or by an entrance on the left side of the top bar. This is an added bonus at Snatch, so keep it shush and don't tell everyone, we don't want the whole world knowing about it!!

[PeterG]

Bollocks. Isn't the whole point of snatch to offend as many people as possible?

[Drew]

calverto

Hmm
seems like i might have to venture along to investigate these claims that tony has gone, and about calverto's big mike.


Drew

[brooner]

more quotage

An uncomfortable atmosphere descended upon Edinburgh's controversial-but-legendary mid-week Snatch Social at The Liquid Room last night, after a shameful barrage of gags related to the recent Asian tsunami disaster resonated from the speakers.

The night started off in usual style, but by just gone 1am, and barely within the space of five minutes, host 'Tony Carter' (real name Will Andrews) had given an a cappella rendition of "The Tide is High", mimicked the Guinness 'Surfer' TV commercial in reference to the disaster and, pointing above his head, said he'd "had it up to here with the tsunami".

An unpleasant tension swept the room, packed mostly with students, during a round of one of the night's well-known party games, Musical Statues. During frequent breaks in the music, co-host 'Harry Ainsworth' (real name Garth Cruickshank) desperately tried to calm an increasingly seething audience, as Carter repeatedly refused to apologise. Ainsworth even compounded matters by making an ill-judged comment about a supposed post-Snatch bucket collection for "Surfboards for Tsunamis".

The night is infamous for its bad taste, and so the game continued with contestants dancing on stage, and a brave attempt to soldier on from Ainsworth and Carter, but it was clear that the two hosts had gone too far as the musical pauses became more and more cringeworthy.

Eventually, after significant pressure, Carter made a full apology, blaming it on his "British sense of humour", but chants of 'wanker' continued to fill breaks in the music and at one point a glass bottle was thrown on stage.

Carter took a break from the stage after the game, which relieved matters, and although a number of people left the club early, it remained busy.

"Comedy is tragedy plus time," Ainsworth reproached Carter on the mic. "World War II jokes we can do."

[Nailest]

"Comedy is tragedy plus time," Ainsworth reproached Carter on the mic. "World War II jokes we can do."

So, Auschwitz gags a-plenty from Harry tonight?