Mrs H.'s Song

[Mrs H.]

With apologies to the BeeGees.

You can tell by the way I post a thread
I’m a nopesport woman and it’s bound to be read.
Smiley face and exclamation Mhark,
You’ll find my bite is worse than my bark.
But it’s all right, it’s okay
And you can always have your say.
I won’t try to understand
The B.O.F. strategic plan.
Whether your name’s Porky
Klebe, Graeme or Awky
You’re staying on-line, staying on-line
Rocky or Samsonite,
Lumpy or Hocolite
You’re staying on-line, staying on-line.
Ha ha ha ha staying on-line, staying on line.
Pyrat, rat, rat, rat,
Staying on-line staying on-line
Well now, I have a laugh and I like to poke
Fun in Banter, it’s such a joke.
Can’t get near the juniors,
Jene, Trebor, Peter and Broonier
You know, it’s alright at B. O. K.
Ifor’s night league is under way,
We won’t win with our handicap
We’re never going to catch that chap.
Whether you’re elite
Or got two Stodgey feet
You’re staying on-line, staying on-line
Everyone gets shocks
When Gross shouts B****cks
But were staying on-line, staying on-line
Caz, Faz, Gaz, Paz
Staying on-line staying on-line
Text, Helen, Becks, Melons,
Staying on-line staying on-line
SJ, IC, CJ, GG
Staying on-line, staying on-line
Nope nope, nope, nope,
Staying on-line, staying on-line
Somebody help me, yeah.

[brooner]

Can’t get near the juniors,
Jene, Trebor, Peter and Broonier

i dont like being lumped in with that lot

[*Carol*]

think she was grouping by mental age

[brooner]

coming from she who hasn't grown up mentally since that photo was taken

[rob f]

Good Song

[Mrs H.]

Er......where exactly did i say that trebor?

[Guest]

Rob i think you need to consider something, you dont like having the piss taken out of you and i have noticed that it is happening a lot so dont take the piss out of other people when you dont have a reason to do it i mean your songs were not lets say the greatest piece of songwriting ive ever heard, nothing close to it.

I think you need to reconsider your strategies.

[Jene]

wow......i afraid Mrs H's song beats every1 elses......

but yes, some1 def shoot me if im still that (insert words here - i cant think of the right verb / adjective / noun? ) when im her age


lumped in with that lot?!?! hey!!! were ace....possibly

[Mrs H.]

Glad you liked it Jene - but why do you want to be sensible when you're my age - so many bad things happen you're never gonna survive unless you get a little bit crazzeeee I made it up while i was cooking the tea and typed in during a bit of Gardeners' world I'd already seen - the bit about the sedge grass in cornwall by Lady rosemary Fitzwattzit.
Incidentally you did feature in one of the throw away lines -
"Jene the Text speaker
Mharky and that naughty streaker."

there was also
......and we're all feeling the stress
while out in the sun is Mr "Jammy" Furness!

And
we're all on the computer
but Scotia's on his scooter

Incidentally guest - i know who you are and you won't get any tea if you anonymous post again

[samsonite]

i have to admit that on eis funny as funk

[mharky]

bravo