I dont normally read the viral emails, but this one made me laugh.
KENT EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale hit Kent with its epicenter in Folkestone.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Invicta FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Folkestone.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of White Lightning or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," CHERITON " said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Kent- oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it, anyway.
Kent Earthquake Appeal
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This bears a striking resemblance to the Birmingham earthquake e-mail from five years ago. Can someone find it?
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." - Mark Twain
Real name: David Alcock, M35
Real name: David Alcock, M35
-
Carnage Head - light green
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Well my memory isn't so bad, after all.
Cheers, Ant W; I am also indebted to whoever posted a reference to snopes.com with regards to (dis)crediting urban legends in a previous posts - good to back up replies to people who believe things like the code of the plane which hit the World Trade Centre had a code which showed a skull and two buildings in the 'Wingdings' font in MS Word...
Cheers, Ant W; I am also indebted to whoever posted a reference to snopes.com with regards to (dis)crediting urban legends in a previous posts - good to back up replies to people who believe things like the code of the plane which hit the World Trade Centre had a code which showed a skull and two buildings in the 'Wingdings' font in MS Word...
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." - Mark Twain
Real name: David Alcock, M35
Real name: David Alcock, M35
-
Carnage Head - light green
- Posts: 206
- Joined: Thu May 05, 2005 3:24 pm
- Location: Leeds
6 posts
• Page 1 of 1
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