Profanisaurus wrote:awaken the bacon: v. Sexually arouse the puh-seh. To turn on the blip tap prior to a Dutch Breakfast
beeriod: n. Twice weekly malady suffered by men after a night on the pop. Symptoms include headache, mood swings and a bloated stomach. 'Leave me alone, woman, me beeriod started this morning.'
crouching tiger, hidden dragon: n. Ancient Chinese sexual position. Doggy style sex with a woman so fugly, one can't bring oneself to look her in the face.
drop anchor in bum bay: v. To arrive at the Rear Admirals favourite port of call.
Edinburgh: rhym. slang. A fur-burger. From Edinburgh Fringe - minge.
fusewire: n. A ginger persons gorilla salad.
guru Palm and the five pillars of wisdom: n. Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters.
head for the hills: exclam. To be forced to hide your soldier in the Dutch Alps, because the redcoats are in the valley.
impersonate Stalin: v. To perform oral sex on a woman, don the beard, eat hairy pie. 'Hold tight up there love, I'm gonna do a quick impersonation of Stalin.'
jobby jouster: n. A Knight of King Richard the Third.
King Kong's finger: n. A turd large enough to flatten a car. An Elvis Killer.
left handed web site: n. An internet website specialising in cyberscud, causing visitors to use the mouse with the left hand.
monkey: n. Vagina. 'Does the monkey want a banana?' A toothless gibbon.
NBR: abbrev. No Beers Required. A good looking woman. Opposite of a five pinter.
owner operator: n. Wanker, a knight who wields his pork sword for pleasure, not for the benefit of fair maidens.
Pearl Harbour: n. prop. A place where ones jap's eye commits atrocities.
quimby: n. Middle person in a threesome, the filling in a sex sandwich. See also lucky Pierre
rocket polisher: n. An over-enthusiastic cleaning of the pocket rocket leading to detonation on the launchpad.
sleep in a tent: v. To have a large penis. 'Fancy coming back to my place? You'll not be disappointed. I sleep in a tent.'
two ring circus: n. Over the shoulder boulder holder, bra.
uphill gardener: n. He who sows his seed on the brown allotment, pusher of a pork wheelbarrow up the lavender path. A male homosexual.
versnatche: n. A designer vertical taco. A secret smile.
wizards sleeve: n. A clown's pocket. A particularly capacious sausage wallet. 'I can't feel a bloody thing, Mother Theresa. You must have a fanny like a wizards sleeve.'
X-piles: n. Mysterious unidentified throbbing objects from your anus.
yodel: v. To vomit, to sing a rainbow. Technicolour yawn.
zipper sniffer: n. Hunter of the pant python, male or female.
i am sorry. nuff said.